Perfectly Flawed
by my-midnight-escape
Summary: Tonks wasn't the first person Lupin didn't think he deserved. What happens when he tells Sirius he’s not good enough for him? Marauder era, set at the beginning of their fifth year. Oneshot.


Perfectly Flawed

Tonks wasn't the first person Lupin didn't think he deserved. What happens when he tells Sirius he's not good enough for him? Marauder era, set at the beginning of their fifth year.

Sirius sat watching Remus work on his Transfiguration essay late one night. He'd stopped working on his an hour ago and was now waiting for the common room to empty so he could be alone with Remus. He was pretending to read Quidditch Through the Ages, so as not to look suspicious. Although, he kept sneaking glances at the boy next to him.

Nobody apart from James knew Remus and him were together. James had accidently found out when he caught the two of them snogging in the dormitory when he got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Sirius became lost in his thoughts about the hours he and Remus had spent snogging. He was hoping they would be doing more than that soon. Very soon. After all, he was Sirius Black: Hogwarts' most famous womanizer, the one girls fawned over and prayed would look their way. Yet, had been would be a better way to describe all that. Yes, he_ had been_ Hogwarts' most famous womanizer, but that had changed at the end of last year. That was when a certain werewolf started consuming his mind.

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Remus who finally spoke as he reread his now completed essay, crossing out things here and there.

"Sirius, stop it," he demanded.

"Stop what?"

"Staring at me, it's extremely distracting"

"Staring at you? Please, Moony, I have far better things to do than stare at you. I was reading," he finished haughtily

Remus raised an eyebrow at him and smirked.

"Fine," Sirius conceded in a whisper, "I was staring." A pair of third year girls that were the only ones left in the room finally walked off up the staircase to their dorms, so Sirius continued, now at his normal volume, "But can you blame me?" He moved closer to Remus, so that their whole sides were touching.

Remus blushed and cast a furtive glance around the room, checking to make sure they were really alone, and then answered, "I can actually. There's nothing interesting about me to stare at."

"Nothing interesting!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly. "Come off it Moony, there's plenty."

Remus scoffed and looked skeptically at Sirius. Noticing this Sirius elaborated, "Well, let's see. You've got that hair, that's pretty amazing." He ran his fingers through it and' Remus subtly leaned into his hand. "Then there's your eyes, I don't think I've ever seen anything that has that shade of brown, they're captivating, really." Remus turned to face him and smiled slightly. This just encouraged Sirius who went on, "and then there's your lips. I've never seen, or felt," he grabbed Remus and pulled him onto his lap, so that he was straddling him, "anything as spectacular as those lips."

Remus blushed and smiled down at Sirius who beamed up at him. They simultaneously moved, Remus down and Sirius up; their lips meeting in the middle.  
As their lips collided again and again, Sirius traced his tongue over Remus' lips, begging for entrance. Remus opened his mouth and Sirius slipped his tongue in, caressing the other boy's with his own. They both moaned at the contact. After several minutes, Sirius's pants were starting to feel uncomfortably tight and he wondered if maybe tonight was going to be the night they finally went further than snogging and tentative caresses.

He wanted more, but he also didn't want to push Remus. He knew he was Remus' first boyfriend; Remus was his first for that matter. Yet, Sirius had had lots of girls, and had gone all the way with a fair few of them; the same could not be said for Remus. Remus had never even kissed a girl. As it turned out Remus had been pining after Sirius since the third year, so even when a girl had looked his way, he wasn't interested. This didn't bother Sirius in the slightest. He liked that he was Remus' first everything. The possessive and jealous part of him was grateful that nobody else had ever touched the boy the way he did.

Gasping and panting, they broke apart for air, pressing their foreheads together.

"Wow," Remus exhaled breathily

Sirius grinned, Remus hadn't seen anything yet.

Sirius started kissing down his neck and undoing the top of Remus' robes. He flipped them so that he was now lying on top of the other boy, supporting his weight on his knees and elbows. His hands were running through Remus' hair. He gazed down at Remus, whom gazed back at him through hooded eyelids. Sirius could feel that he was just as excited by this as he was.

Something felt off though. Sirius thought it might be because they were in the very open common room, which while currently only occupied by the two of them, was not guaranteed to stay that way. He'd never had a problem doing it in the common room before, but this was Remus—he was special and different, and he wanted to do it right the first time, if it was going to happen at all.

"Come on Rem, let's go upstairs"

"Of course, Padfoot," Remus nodded, but a flicker of fear passed over his face and Sirius didn't miss it.

He didn't want him to be afraid. He wanted him to be relaxed and enjoy it. Even though Sirius had never done it with another man, he wasn't scared. It was Remus, Moony, his friend, his boyfriend, his companion. How could it not be wonderful? Sirius wanted Remus to feel the same way, so he had to make sure he knew how he felt. Still lying on top of him, Sirius asked, "Remus, you know I love you, right?"

Remus' reaction was startling. He pushed a stunned Sirius off him and groaned. "No you don't."

Their romantic atmosphere seemed to shatter. Sirius stood with his mouth hanging open for a moment before responding with the cleverest thing he could think of, "What?"

Remus was pacing the hearth and snapped "No, you don't love me"

Rage seemed to give Sirius his coherency back. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you? I tell you I love you, and you yell at me." He snapped, practically yelling himself now.

"Yes, of course I'm yelling at you. The whomping willow should be beating sense into you."

Sirius was at a loss. None of this made any sense.  
Through gritted teeth, Sirius asked, "and why exactly should a mad tree be bludgeoning me?"

"Because you said you loved me."

"I don't see what's wrong with that. Besides, you knew, didn't you?" Sirius trailed off lamely. Just because he hadn't said it, didn't mean he didn't love him. Remus should have known, how could he not have?

"Of course I knew, but you weren't supposed to say it."

"Merlin, Moony you're not making any sense. What difference does it make if I say it or not if you already knew?"

"Now I can't pretend anymore."

"Pretend what?"

"That this doesn't mean anything to you. That you'll just walk away and be through with this, with me, and not care."

"I don't understand. Is that what you want?"

The look of sheer horror that was on Sirius' face made Remus answer truthfully. He loved Sirius far too much to cause him this pain.

"Yes and No."

"If you don't explain what the hell you're on about I'm going to hex you."

"I want you to be free from me, but I never want to stop being with you.

"What do you mean, "free from you"'

"Sirius, come on, don't be foolish. Your reputation, your future, they'll be tarnished if you're with me. "I'll always be too poor and too dangerous to be with you. For Merlin's sake, I'm a werewolf! Not to mention that I'm a boy, that'll hardly go over well with your family, let alone the rest of the world. Can't you see? I love you too much to do that too you. I won't let you be shunned because of me," Remus finished passionately.

Sirius stepped toward Remus and punched him on the shoulder.

"Ow, Sirius! What the hell?"

Sirius held up his hand, signaling Remus to be quiet.

"That's for insulting both of us. And be grateful that's all I did, if anyone else had said that I'd have hexed them. As for all that other rubbish, I don't know why you're worried.

Remus opened his mouth to interrupt, but Sirius held up his hand again.

"If you don't want me to hit you again, you'll stay quiet while I get this out. Okay well, if the rest of the world won't like it, I guess I'll just have to choose someone that they will approve of," Sirius said sarcastically. "Moony, when the hell have I ever given a damn about what the rest of the world thinks? If I cared about my family's approval, I'd be sitting in the Slytherin common room practicing the dark arts. As for poor and dangerous, well I've got gold, and I don't mind sharing. And dangerous? Please. Now you're just trying to attract me." This earned a small smile from Remus, who started to say something, but Sirius glared and continued. "It's simple, I'm in love with you, and you're in love with me. You always do try to complicate things, Moony."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to have to feel ashamed of who you're with."

"I'm sure. I've made my choice, and you're it, I don't care about your flaws, you're perfect for me."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Don't be." Sirius forehead wrinkled in concern, "I'm sorry I punched you."

"You should be. Merlin, Padfoot that hurt." Remus smiled.

Sirius walked forward and kissed Remus' shoulder where he had hit him. "Better?" he asked tentatively.

"Much." They smiled at each other. Remus opened his arms and the two embraced, hugging each other tightly.

"You're not going to get rid of me that easily, Moony."

"I'm glad Padfoot, I'm glad."

This was my first Remus/Sirius fic, and my first harry potter fic. Please review to let me know how I did.


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